To Love a Wolf Read online

  Unfortunately, even though Everly was completely sickened by the mere sight of him now, Cooper was still head over heels in love with her. Nothing that happened last night had changed that one bit. If anything, it only made him want to protect Everly and keep her safe even more than before. That meant for now he needed to stay away from her. At least that way, one of them would be happy.

  For the short term, this was the best he could come up with. Beyond that, he had no idea what he was going to do. It was strange. He was the one all the guys in the Pack came to when they had a problem. But now that he had a problem, he couldn’t think of a single good piece of advice to give himself.

  Becker looked up from his computer and did a double take when he saw him. “Whoa, dude. I know you and Everly can’t keep your hands off each other, but good God, mix in a nap now and then. You look like shit.”

  The rest of his squad was all staring at him from where they sat at their desks.

  “Becker’s right, man,” Alex agreed. “You look like one of the zombies in the comic books you read.”

  Any other time, Cooper would have laughed and flipped his pack mates the bird, but today all he did was let out a snort as he pulled out his chair and sat at his desk. Shit. He’d had his share of bad days before, but they were nothing compared to this. The woman he loved thought he was a monster, and one of his best friends was probably a killer. He should be out looking for Jim, not sitting here pretending his life wasn’t in the toilet.

  At the desk across from his, Becker sat back and swigged coffee out of a mug with the words Either You’re SWAT Or You’re Not on it. “Jayna and I are doing dinner and a movie Friday night with Zak and Megan. You and Everly want to come?”

  Cooper’s hand stilled on the mouse, the cursor hovering over the email icon on his computer monitor. It suddenly struck him that he and Everly weren’t going to see any more movies, or go out to dinner, or kiss, or make love. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

  “Cooper?” Becker said. “What’s wrong?”

  He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Everly and I broke up.”

  Shit, even saying the words hurt.

  “Broke up?” Alex sat forward at his desk. “I thought she was The One?”

  Cooper clicked on the email icon with more force than necessary. “Yeah, well, I guess sometimes that’s not enough.”

  “What happened?” Khaki asked.

  Cooper didn’t want to rehash last night, but for some reason, he ended up telling them everything, from how her family knew he was a werewolf to her brothers beating him up with baseball bats, then stabbing him last night, and finally, to Everly running out.

  “I don’t think she’s ever going to get past the fact that I’m the same kind of creature that killed her mother,” he said quietly.

  He knew Khaki and the guys would have hung out with him the rest of the day and talked if he’d wanted them to, and he might have taken them up on it, if the calls hadn’t suddenly started rolling in.

  “We’ve got a domestic dispute on Randel,” Alex announced when he hung up. “Guy holding his girlfriend and her sister hostage.”

  Cooper got up to head out with the rest of the squad, but Xander pulled him aside.

  “Maybe you should sit this one out,” his squad leader said. “You had a tough night.”

  Cooper snorted. “Yeah, well, something tells me they aren’t going to get any easier. I can’t sit on the bench every time an incident comes in.”

  “I know,” Xander said. “But you can today.”

  Maybe Xander was right. He wasn’t at his sharpest right now. If he didn’t pick up a scent or hear a bad guy coming, it could end up getting one of his teammates killed. Besides, he needed to look for Jim anyway.

  Xander turned to catch up with the rest of the squad, but Cooper stopped him.

  “This stuff Everly’s brothers said about the magic frigging mirror and hunters out there who spend their whole lives killing werewolves? Did Gage ever tell you anything about them?”

  Xander shook his head. “No. But maybe that’s because he’s never heard of them.”

  Cooper wasn’t sure what worried him more—the thought that there might be hunters out there looking to kill him and every other werewolf, or the idea that Gage might not know anything about them.

  * * *

  When he left the SWAT compound, Cooper had every intention of going from one cheap motel to another looking for Jim, but instead, he found himself at Delacroix’s office. It was barely after eight thirty, and she didn’t come in until nine, so he stood outside her office door and waited. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was there or what the hell he was going to say when she got there.

  My girlfriend dumped me because she found out I’m a werewolf, and I really need to talk to someone?

  Yeah, probably not.

  He was just thinking he should go when Delacroix showed up, a cup of coffee in one hand and a stack of folders clutched in her arm. She took one look at his face and told him to come in.

  “Sorry to show up without calling first,” he said as she unlocked the door.

  “No worries. My first patient doesn’t arrive for an hour.” She gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. “Have a seat.”

  Cooper did, then waited for her to do the same. She folded her forearms on the desk, pinning him with that sharp gaze of hers.

  “So, what’s on your mind?” she asked.

  He didn’t answer because he wasn’t quite sure what to say. It wasn’t like she was a drinking buddy. He wasn’t going to cry in his beer and sob about Everly dumping his ass. He was a dumb shit to even come here.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” he mumbled.

  “You came here because you obviously need to talk,” she said when he started to get up. “So, talk.”

  He dropped back down into the chair with a sigh. Oh, what the hell? “Remember that amazing woman I told you I was dating? The one who seemed to fit me so perfectly?” Delacroix nodded. “Well, about the time I realized I’d fallen in love with her, she decided to bail. I’m not dealing with it too well.”

  Delacroix frowned. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between the two of you. There aren’t many people out there who could handle the world in which you live, you know. It’s not for everyone.”

  Cooper regarded Delacroix for a moment. Did she mean because he was a cop, or a werewolf? He still couldn’t get a read on how much the good doctor knew.

  “I guess not,” was all he said.

  “Just because you broke up doesn’t mean there’s no way for you two to get back together. Have you talked to her about what’s coming between the two of you?”

  Cooper had spent most of last night and this morning asking himself that same question. If this had simply been about him being a cop, the answer would have been easy. But it wasn’t about him being a cop. It was about him being a werewolf. And while he would have gladly walked away from his job on the force for Everly, he couldn’t walk away from being a werewolf.

  “I wish there was, but I just don’t see it,” he said quietly.

  It hurt like hell to admit that, but it was true. He and Everly were never going to get back together.

  The emotionless mask Delacroix normally wore slipped a little at that. She actually looked sad. “I’m sorry. As hard as it is for you to talk about what happened between the two of you, I have the hour free, and I’d be more than happy to listen.”

  Cooper sat back in the chair, but didn’t say anything. He’d already talked to his pack mates. Why rehash everything with a complete stranger? It wasn’t like he could tell Delacroix the real reason he and Everly had broken up. But he could tell Delacroix about how much more amazing his life had been with Everly in it…and how he felt now that she was gone. And if a few tears misted his eyes, he and Delacroix both did their best to ignore them.

  Chapter 16

  Everly wasn’t completely sure what day
of the week it was. But she’d heard Mia calling into work this morning to tell her boss she was taking another day off because her roommate still wasn’t feeling well. That meant it must be Friday. Two days since she’d broken up with Landry. It felt more like two hundred.

  Poor Mia had missed work three days in a row now, the last two to babysit her. Mia was so sweet. Everly didn’t really need a babysitter. She wasn’t twelve, and she wasn’t sick. Yet she didn’t know why she was so devastated. She’d broken up with guys before and it had never been like this. It felt like a piece of her heart was missing.

  She’d crawled into bed the moment she came home from Landry’s apartment two days ago and hadn’t gotten out since. She vaguely remembered Mia bringing her something to eat now and then¸ but she didn’t remember what.

  She had cried like a banshee that first day after everything had fallen apart with Landry. She’d tried to stop it, told herself to get a grip and stop being so dramatic. But none of that self-cajoling crap had worked. She kept thinking of Landry and the anguish on his face when she’d turned her back on him.

  That was how Mia had found her, curled in a ball on her bed and crying like a madwoman. Her friend had immediately thought something had happened to Landry, that he’d been hurt—or worse. She’d tried to tell Mia that wasn’t it, but the mere thought of Landry being injured—or dead—had made her start crying all over again.

  Mia had lain with her in bed for hours, refusing to leave her side until she calmed down. When she had, Mia asked what happened, but Everly couldn’t talk about it. So, she’d only told her friend that she and Landry had broken up.

  Everly rolled onto her other side now and bunched the pillow under her head. She wished it could be that simple. She wished she could walk away from him like it was nothing, but that was impossible. She’d been in love with Landry—there was no denying that. She’d been thinking of making a life with him—of marriage and kids. Now she couldn’t even think of him without seeing the vicious, bloodthirsty monster that had killed her mother.

  She felt so stupid. Why hadn’t she seen this coming? He was too perfect right from the start. She supposed that was the allure monsters like him used to get close to people. But if Landry was a monster, why was she lying in bed feeling like her heart had been torn out, instead of thanking her brothers for saving her life?

  Outside her room, the door of the apartment opened, and she heard Mia talking softly to someone. For a crazy moment, her heart leapt at the thought that it might be Landry. But deep down, she knew better. He wasn’t coming back. She had burned that bridge with a flamethrower.

  “I have to go grocery shopping anyway,” Mia said to whoever it was. “Since I’m guessing you probably had something to do with why she’s been crying her eyes out the past two days, maybe you can do something to fix this.”

  Everly didn’t bother to look up as she heard a man’s heavy footsteps approaching her bedroom. It obviously wasn’t Landry. He was much lighter on his feet than that, even if he was huge. Like a predatory animal, she supposed.

  Whoever it was knocked on her door, then opened it. “Hey Everly, it’s me.” Tristan’s voice was soft. “Mia mentioned on the phone that you were feeling a little under the weather. I thought I’d come over and see how you were doing.”

  She didn’t bother rolling over to look at him. “I’m fine. You’ve met your brotherly obligation, so you can leave. Go home and tell everyone I’m just peachy now that you’ve chased away the big bad werewolf.”

  Everly felt the bed dip as her brother sat down on the other side next to her. She ground her jaw in frustration. She had no interest in seeing anyone right now, especially any of her brothers.

  “What do you want, Tristan?” she asked, still not looking at him.

  “I just want to make sure my little sister is okay. I know what you saw the other night scared you. But Landry is gone now, and he’s not coming back.”

  Even though Everly already knew Landry was never coming back, it still hurt like hell to hear the words spoken out loud. For some reason, it infuriated her even more that Tristan was the one saying it. Of all her brothers, he’d always been the one on her side, no matter what.

  She rolled over and looked at him, ready to lay into him for having the nerve to come here and even utter Landry’s name, but the words stuck in her throat at the stunned expression on her brother’s face. She supposed she did look a fright. Two days of crying could do that to a girl.

  Tristan leaned closer, putting his hand on her forehead like he was checking her for a fever. Then he pushed up her top lip to look at her teeth. She smacked his hand away.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she asked as he reached for the collar of her sleep shirt and tried to pull it down. She smacked his hand away again. “Stop that!”

  “I’m trying to see if he bit you,” he said, reaching for her collar again.

  She held up a finger in warning and glared at him. “You touch me again, and I’m going to punch you in the nose. No, Landry didn’t bite me, you idiot. Why would you think he did?”

  Her brother shrugged. “You look horrible. Your nose is all red and puffy, and your eyes are bloodshot. I thought…I thought you were turning into a werewolf.”

  God, her brother was a moron. “I’m not turning into a werewolf,” she snapped. “My face is red and puffy because I’ve been crying, and my eyes are bloodshot because I haven’t slept for two days. Besides, you can’t turn into a werewolf from getting bitten. You need to have the werewolf gene already in your blood, and then go through a life-threatening, traumatic event for it to turn on. The biting stuff is a fairy tale.”

  Tristan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How do you know all that?”

  Just thinking about the last conversation she had with Landry brought tears to her eyes. “I know because I went to talk to Landry the night you stabbed him. I drove around town for hours and ended up at his place.”

  He sucked in a sharp breath. “Did he hurt you?”

  “No, he didn’t hurt me,” she said, getting more and more ticked off by the second. “All we did was talk about what he is. I had questions, and he answered them. Then I left. I haven’t seen him since.”

  Tristan sagged with relief. In silence, he looked around the room, taking in the pile of used tissues on the nightstand and those that had fallen to the floor, then the pillows she’d thrown against the far wall when she got angry for not being able to forget about Landry. Finally, he swung his gaze back to her.

  “Dad told me once that sometimes if a woman spends too much time with a werewolf that he can get into her blood. Do you think that’s happened to you—that Landry got into your blood? If it is, you don’t have to worry,” Tristan added, holding up his hands in a gesture his stupid ass probably thought was calming. “According to Dad, women have been falling prey to this werewolf glamour for millennia, but like any addiction, it passes with time. What you’re feeling isn’t real.”

  If Everly had a knife right them, she would have stabbed her brother. But she didn’t have a knife—at least not in her bedroom.

  “God, you’re an imbecile,” she snapped. “Doubly so for listening to Dad. Landry is not in my blood, Tristan. He never was.”

  Her brother frowned. “How do you know? He could be, and you’re just confused.”

  She shook her head at how thick her youngest brother was—and he was the brightest one. “I know he’s not in my blood because he’s in my heart. And that’s ten times worse!”

  Tristan’s eyes widened, a look of pure terror crossing his face. “You’re in love with him?”

  Everly fell back onto the pillow, all the fight gone. Besides, this was a meaningless argument. “I was, but it doesn’t matter now. He’s a monster with claws and fangs, and every time I look at him—every time I even think of him—I see the creature that murdered Mom. I can never get past that, no matter what my heart wants. So, you can go home and tell the others that I’m safe from the big bad werewolf. He�
��ll never come near me again. Which is exactly the way you all wanted it, right?”

  Not waiting for a reply, she rolled over and curled into a ball again. The tears she’d thought had finally dried up after two straight days of crying spilled onto her cheeks. Dammit, she really didn’t want Tristan to be here when she lost it again.

  “Just go,” she told Tristan. “I’m done talking about Landry with you.”

  He hesitated, and she thought she was going to have to say something awful to get him to leave, but then he stood and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

  Everly held off for another few moments just to make sure he didn’t come back, then she gave into the agonizing pain in her heart and cried all over again.

  * * *

  In the motel parking lot, Cooper cut the engine of his Jeep and glanced at the long list of fleabag motels he’d scribbled on the notepad, most of which he’d already scratched out. In an effort to get Everly out of his head, he’d thrown himself into his work. In this case, that meant spending every minute of the past two days trying to find Jim.

  Cooper didn’t have any idea what he was going to do when he found his friend, but he had to at least look. The alternative was walking into the FBI field office and telling Dennis that he thought Jim might be the bomber. Cooper really didn’t want to do that, not until he looked his best friend in the eye and knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jim had set those bombs.

  He knew he was being stupid, and that his breakup with Everly was almost certainly messing with his judgment. But no matter how bad it appeared, he couldn’t force himself to turn his back on Jim. Soldiers didn’t do that to each other. Especially when that other soldier had saved your life.

  Cooper got out of his Jeep and headed to the front office of the motel, passing another rusty sign announcing they had rooms available. Empty rooms in a fine establishment like this? Shocking.

  Before going inside, he checked his cell phone to make sure he hadn’t missed any calls. Xander was under the impression that Cooper was “helping” Dennis with the bombing case, so he was giving him a lot of free time. But if something big came in, Xander would expect him to come running. Cooper was cool with that. Anything to keep his squad leader from figuring out what he was really doing. Xander would lose his mind if he found out Cooper was hiding evidence from the FBI.