Not the Man She Thought Page 18

Laken gave her a rueful smile. “So did I.”

  Dev frowned. “Then why are you leaving?”

  Laken shrugged and looked away. It would be easier to lie, she supposed, but the two women were her friends, and right then she needed them. “Because Rade doesn’t want me.”

  “Doesn’t want you?” Pammay’s voice was incredulous. “The man loves you.”

  Laken gave her a sad smile. “No. He doesn’t. Which is just as well, really. I have a fiancé waiting for me down on New Ashanti. It’s past time I get back to him.”

  The other women shared a look at that, but said nothing.

  Laken took a deep breath. “Keir is waiting for me at the shuttle, so I should get going.”

  But instead of moving toward the door, she just stood there, looking around the small cabin that had been her home for the past week. Had she really only been on the ship a week? It seemed like she’d lived a whole lifetime in that short span of time.

  Dev cleared her throat. “We’ll walk down with you.”

  They were silent as they made their way down to the ship’s hold. Laken had been hoping the rest of the crew might be around so that she could say goodbye, but the hallways were deserted. Which, she discovered a few minutes later, was because the entire crew had assembled in the hold to see her off. Everyone except Rade, that is. Swallowing hard, Laken slowly made her way down the steps.

  Jorn and Kamran were the first to bid her goodbye, followed by Vance and Finn, then Kellen. Each of them embraced her in a warm hug, though of all of them, the older man’s expression was the saddest.

  “We will miss you, Laken,” he said quietly.

  Laken nodded. “I’ll miss all of you, too. Tell Rade...tell him, thank you for...for everything.”

  The older man gave her a small smile. “I will.”

  With a sigh, Laken turned to Dev and Pammay. The blonde woman had tears in her eyes, and Laken had to fight hard to keep from crying, too. Hugging both women, Laken thanked Dev for letting her borrow the dress she was wearing, then turned to Keir, who was waiting by the shuttle.

  “Laken, wait!”

  Her heart leaped into her throat at the sound of Rade’s voice, and she whirled around to see him jogging down the steps of the cargo hold. Her pulse raced as she waited for him to reach her. He was going to ask her to stay, she thought wildly, and could barely suppress the urge to throw herself into his arms. When Rade finally came to a stop in front of her, though, he didn’t pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless like she hoped he would do, but simply held out her ident-card.

  “You’ll need this,” was all he said.

  Laken stared down stupidly at the card in his hand for a moment. Rade had taken it from her that first day when Finn had dragged her into his office. She’d forgotten all about it. Blinking back tears, she slowly reached out to take it.

  “Thank you,” she said in a small voice.

  He cleared his throat. “If things don’t work out with your fiancé, or you need anything while you’re on New Ashanti, there’s a salvage captain who owes me a favor. His name is Kavan Durshay. Just tell him I sent you.”

  She nodded, not knowing what to say.

  “Listen,” he said, clearing his throat again. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

  Laken swallowed hard. “You, too.”

  Rade gazed down at her for a long moment as if he wanted to say something else to her, and it took everything in Laken not to throw herself into his arms and confess her feelings for him.

  Just when she thought she might actually give in to the urge, Rade gave her a nod, then turned on his heel and started for the steps. Laken watched him go, her eyes following his tall, broad-shouldered form until he disappeared down a side hallway. Blinking back fresh tears, she turned and boarded the shuttle.

  * * * * *

  Back in his ready room. Rade gripped the edges of the table, his knuckles white as he stared down unseeingly at the holo-map. He hadn’t known it was possible to hurt this much, but walking away from Laken down in the cargo hold had damn near killed him.

  “She would have stayed if you had asked her to, you know.”

  Kellen. He should have known his old friend would seek him out. “And that’s exactly why I didn’t ask her to,” Rade said without turning around.

  “Don’t you think she should have had least been given the choice?”

  Rade stared down at the map. “I did what was best for her, Kellen, and we both know it. She’s not cut out for this kind of life.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Kellen said. “She seemed to fit right in with the crew.”

  Rade didn’t say anything, which prompted the other man to continue.

  “She loves you a great deal, you know.”

  Rade swallowed hard. “I’m sure she’ll forget about me the minute she’s back in her fiancé’s arms.”

  The image of Laken with another man made his gut clench, and he gripped the edges of the table more tightly.

  Behind him, Kellen was silent for so long that Rade thought the other man had left, but then he spoke.

  “Will you be able to forget her as easily, I wonder?”

  Rade knew his silence was all the answer the other man needed.

  “Captain?” Dev’s voice came over the ship’s intercom.

  “What is it, Dev?” Rade said, grateful for the interruption.

  “Commander Vargas in on the com for you.”

  Rade closed his eyes. Maybe talking strategy would take his mind off Laken. God, he hoped so.

  * * * * *

  Keir didn’t talk much on the flight down to New Ashanti, much to Laken’s relief. She was barely holding herself together as it was, and she was afraid if Keir said anything even remotely kind, she would dissolve into a fit of tears.

  “Do you want me to wait until your fiancé comes to pick you up?” Keir asked when they docked at the spaceport a little while later.

  Laken shook her head. “Thank you, but I’m sure you need to get back to the ship. I’ll be fine.”

  Keir looked hesitant, but after a moment, he nodded. “Take care then.”

  Giving her a warm hug, turned and walked back to the shuttle. Laken didn’t stay to watch it take off. Instead, she slowly made her way toward the transport center.

  The building was crowded with people, but Laken barely paid attention to them. Finding a ladies’ washroom, she went inside. Going over to one of the sinks, she turned on the water and leaned over the basin to splash some of it on her face. While it made her feel more refreshed, it did hide the anguish in her eyes, and she let out a sigh as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror.

  How could she possibly go to Mallin like this when all she could think about was another man? A man who had most likely already forgotten about her the minute she had stepped off his ship. The thought that Rade could care so little for her made her heart squeeze in her chest, and Laken closed her eyes. Maybe seeing Mallin right now was exactly what she needed. She’d had feelings for him once. Maybe being with her fiancé would make her see that what she felt for Rade wasn’t love after all.

  Reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear, Laken gazed at her reflection in the mirror for a moment longer. Then, squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin and walked out of the washroom.

  Finding a hover-cab wasn’t difficult outside of the spaceport, and once seated inside one, Laken gave the cabbie Mallin’s address. Taking a hover-cab would mean she had to use her ident-card, which meant that her father would be able to track her, but now that she was on New Ashanti, it didn’t really matter. Besides, Mallin house was out in the country, so it wasn’t like she could walk there.

  When the hover-cab pulled up in front of a huge house almost an hour later, Laken was glad she hadn’t tried to walk out there. She hadn’t realized Mallin lived so far outside the city. Or that he lived on such a palatial country estate. He had told her he lived a modest life.

  Handing the cabbie her ident-card, she waited
while he processed his payment, then opened the door and got out. For a moment, she wondered if she should ask the man to wait for her, but then decided against it. Even if Mallin wasn’t home, surely the servants would be.

  Walking up the front steps, Laken took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, then smoothed her hands down the front of her dress and waited. Within seconds, the door swung open and she found herself face to face with an elderly gray-haired man. He looked her up and down.

  “May I help you?”

  Though the words were polite, it was obvious from the man’s cool tone that he thought she was out of place in such rich surroundings, and Laken lifted her chin. “I’m looking for Mallin Pemberton. Is he at home?”

  The man lifted one of his bushy, gray brows. “And whom shall I say is calling?”

  She lifted her chin a little higher. “His fiancée.”

  The man’s eyes went wide at that. “His fiancée? But...”

  “Laken!”

  At the sound of Mallin’s voice, Laken turned her attention from the butler to see her fiancé hurrying across the ornate foyer. Blond and blue-eyed, he was tall and slender. Dressed in an expensive silk shirt, dark breeches and shiny, leather boots, he looked every inch the fine gentleman he was.

  Laken waited for her heart to flutter at the sight of him, for her breathing to quicken just because she was in the same room with him. But she didn’t experience either of those things.

  The older man eyed her fiancé in confusion. “Sir, this woman...” he began, but Mallin cut him off.

  “I’ll take care of it, Burl,” he said. “Bring the car brought around, would you please?”

  The butler hesitated, but then after giving Laken a cool look, he nodded at Mallin, turned on his heel and walked off. Her fiancé waited until the man was out of sight before turning back to her.

  “What are you doing here?” he demanded.

  She lifted her chin. “When you didn’t come back to Tellune, I decided to come to you instead.”

  It was obvious from the look on his face that her words had surprised him. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He raked his hand through his hair. “Are you staying in the city, then?”

  Her brow furrowed. “No. I naturally assumed I’d be staying with you.”

  “With me?” Mallin echoed. “You can’t.”

  Her frown deepened. “Why not?”

  He glanced over his shoulder, then turned back to her. “Because it wouldn’t be appropriate. We’re not married and it would ruin your reputation.”

  Laken stared at him in disbelief. Mallin certainly hadn’t cared about her reputation when he’d bedded her back on Tellune. She opened her mouth to remind him of that when he took her arm and hurried her back down the front steps.

  “Mallin, what are you doing?”

  He ignored her as he led her over to the sleek hover-car that was now parked in the circular driveway. At their approach, the butler quickly moved forward to open the back door.

  “Mallin, what...?” she began again, but he had turned his attention to the butler.

  “The townhouse, Burl,” he told the man.

  She frowned. “Townhouse?”

  “It’s in the city,” Mallin explained as he urged her into the back seat, then slid in beside her. “It’d be better if you stayed there.”

  Laken frowned, but didn’t say anything as the butler pulled the car out of the driveway.

  She and Mallin didn’t talk at all during the drive, which was fine with her. She was starting to get a little annoyed with how he was treating her.

  It was almost dark by the time they reached Mallin’s townhouse. While much smaller than his house in the country, it was no less impressive, and she couldn’t help but look around in wonder as her fiancé led her inside.

  “This is Josen,” Mallin said, introducing the elderly man who had greeted them at the door. “He’ll show you to your room and see that you have everything you need.”

  She looked at her fiancé in confusion. “Where are you going?”

  Her fiancé glanced at Josen, who nodded and retreated to the far side of the foyer.

  “I’m going to go back out to my house in the country,” Mallin told her quietly. “But I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. We’ll talk then.”

  Laken let out a sigh. She would rather talk now, but before she could say anything, Mallin put his hands on her shoulders, then bent his head to press his mouth to hers. The kiss was cool and impersonal, and she was relieved when he finally lifted his head.

  Mallin stood gazing down at her for a long moment. “I’ll be by tomorrow.”

  He walked over to speak softly with Josen, then giving her a stiff nod, her fiancé turned and left. As the door closed behind Mallin, the butler abandoned his post by the wall to approach her.

  “Shall I show you to your room, madam?”

  Laken hesitated for a moment, but then nodded.

  The room Josen showed her to was decorated as beautifully as the rest of the house, and yet as she took in the gold and white décor, Laken found herself longing for the simple cabin she had occupied on Rade’s ship. It was ironic. For days, she couldn’t wait to get off his ship, and now that she had finally gotten her wish, all she wanted was to go back.

  From his place by the door, the butler was regarding her with kind eyes. “Shall I bring a tray up, madam, or would you prefer to eat in the dining room?”

  The thought of food made Laken’s stomach churn, but at the expectant look on the butler’s face, she nodded. “A tray would be nice. Thank you.”

  The butler gave her a nod, then left the room, closing the door behind him. No longer needing to put on a show for anyone, the tears came fast and hard, and Laken let them fall.

  * * * * *

  Laken slept little that night, and when she finally did drift off, it was to dream about Rade. Fighting back tears as she lay in bed the next morning, she came to a decision. While she and Rade might not have a future together, she couldn’t marry Mallin when she was in love with another man.

  Now that she’d made her decision, Laken was eager to leave New Ashanti as soon as she could. And though Laken supposed she could have waited for Mallin to come to the townhouse, it was just easier to go to him. When she asked Josen if he would drive her to Mallin’s country house, however, the butler frowned.

  “I’m sorry, madam, but I can’t. Master Mallin has asked that you wait here for him.”

  Laken’s brow furrowed at that, and though she tried to sweet-talk the butler into taking her to see Mallin regardless of what her fiancé had said, Josen wouldn’t budge. Rather than argue with the man, however, Laken smiled and told him she would wait for Mallin to come see her. The minute the butler had left the room, however, she was out the door and in a hover-cab.

  As the cabbie drove, Laken went over what she would say to Mallin. She didn’t want to hurt him by telling him she was in love with another man, so she would simply tell him that her feelings for him had changed and that she had decided to go home. The word “home” immediately conjured images of Rade’s ship, and Laken had to blink back fresh tears.

  Swallowing hard, she went back to looking out the window and was surprised to see that they were already close to Mallin’s home. As they drew nearer, she could see a woman and two children standing on the doorstep along with Mallin. Laken didn’t think anything of it until she saw him bend his head to give the woman a kiss.

  “Stop the cab!” she ordered.

  The cabbie did as she requested, pulling off to the side of the driveway. Through the hover-cab’s open window, the voices of the people gathered on the doorstep could easily be heard.

  “Now you two kids be good for your mommy today, okay?” Mallin was saying to the children.

  “We will, Daddy,” the boy and girl said in unison.

  Daddy? Laken blinked. Mallin was married? All the time he had been wooing her on Tellune, he’d had a wife and kids back here on New Ashanti waiting
for him?

  As Mallin’s wife and children got into the car parked in the driveway, Laken leaned forward to tell the cabbie to take her back to the city. Mallin didn’t deserve an explanation after he had deceived her. But then she changed her mind. While Mallin might not deserve an explanation, she did.

  “You can go ahead,” she told the cabbie after the car had pulled out of the driveway.

  The cabbie did as she told him, parking in front of the house. Mallin had already gone inside by the time they did, and Laken told the cabbie to wait for her before she hurried up the front steps.