Santa' Wayward Elf

  Santa’s Wayward Elf

  by Paige Tyler

  Being one of Santa’s elves isn’t all sugar plums and candy canes.

  At least not for Sosie. Taller than the other elves, she’s always had a problem fitting in at the North Pole, so when the transport sled she’s on breaks down in New York City on Christmas Eve, she can’t resist slipping away to explore the world of the “big people.” While she’s having fun, the transport sled takes off, leaving the naïve elf stranded.

  Fortunately, handsome police detective Derek Clayton comes to her rescue, offering to let her stay at his apartment. Having heard horror stories about the big people, Sosie is both surprised and relieved to meet such a kind, sweet man. Not to mention one so gorgeous and well-built.

  Even though Sosie expects the North Pole to send out a search party any day, she finds herself falling for Derek. She desperately wants to tell him she’s an elf, but knows he’ll never believe her. When the lies and omissions start to pile up, Derek can draw only one conclusion—Sosie is working for the mob boss he’s been after for years.

  Just when things seem like they can’t get any worse, the chief of elfin security shows up to drag Sosie back to the North Pole. How is a runaway elf supposed to overcome a determined security elf, dangerous mobsters and a suspicious boyfriend all while keeping her pointed ears a secret?

  Copyright © 2013 by Paige Tyler

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any

  form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying recording, or by

  any information storage and retrieval system, without permission from the author.

  Cover Design by Ramona

  Dedication

  With special thanks to my extremely patient and understanding husband. Without your help and support I couldn’t have pursued my dream job of becoming a writer. You’re my sounding board, my idea man, my critique partner, and the absolute best research assistant any girl could ask for!

  Thank you.

  And thank you to the wonderful fangirls on my Street Team. You all rock!

  A Note from Paige Tyler:

  I came up with the idea for the book while hubby and I were watching Disney’s Christmas special Prep and Landing on television. It follows an elite team of Santa’s elves on Christmas Eve who get to each house ahead of Santa to prepare for his arrival. I said to hubby, wouldn’t it be cool if elves really did come down from the North Pole and do that. Being his practical self, hubby said they’d have to modernize their transportation and the kinds of toys they made (hobby horses and wooden dolls aren't in big demand much these days). They’d have sleds that went into stealth mode (think the Romulan cloaking device on Star Trek) so no one would see them. And they'd need to have material and supply contracts with humans to get raw materials up to the North Pole. Plus, those poor elves would have to work really hard to produce enough toys for everyone. And as we talked about what elves would really do in the workshop and how they’d keep up with global demands for products, I came up with the idea of an elf named Sosie who feels like she doesn’t fit in at Santa’s workshop anymore. She’s taller than all the other elves, so her social life is almost nonexistent. There aren’t a lot of elf guys who want to date an elf girl they have to look up to. And after making literally thousands and thousands of toys, the thrill is gone. Not even a move to the coveted sex-toy department helped. So, she requests a transfer to the workshop in the South Pole, hoping a change of scenery will do the trick. This is where the spirit of Christmas romance jumps in…because on the way to the South Pole, her transport sled breaks down in Manhattan and while the engineering elves are repairing it, Sosie sneaks off to do some exploring, sure she’ll be back before they take off.

  But it wouldn’t be a very exciting story if she made it back to the sled before it took off. If she did, she’d never meet Derek Clayton, the hunky police detective who comes to her rescue.

  Just imagine yourself in the booties of a completely guileless elf who’s never experienced the big city, the big people, or big romance…and you can probably figure out what kind of fun Sosie is in for. I think you’ll love reading my story as much as I loved writing it.

  So, get a cup of hot chocolate, a warm throw, and let Sosie whisk you off into a magical Christmas romance.

  Happy Reading!

  5 Hearts from Sizzling Hot Books!

  "I have to admit that I read Santa’s Wayward Elf in one sitting—I couldn’t walk away from Sosie. This is one of the most unique, sweet and yet still sensual holiday stories I have read in a long time. There wasn’t a slow point to be found in Santa’s Wayward Elf as Paige Tyler weaves for us remarkable characters within a fairytale life that really embraces the Christmas spirit and spreads it to everyone that touches the pages!"

  Chapter One

  Sosie let out a bored sigh as she flipped through the old copy of Working Elf someone had wedged in the seat pocket in front of her. She’d already read the magazine cover-to-cover twice, but it was either that or stare out the window at nothing but the night sky. She paused when she came to an article about which products were going to be a big hit for the current holiday season. It would have been a lot more riveting if she hadn’t spent the last four months up to her elbows in the exact same stuff the author—an elf named Zowie—claimed were so wonderful. After making three thousand copies of anything by hand—even the Happy Rabbit Clitoris Vibrator she’d helped design—the thrill was gone.

  How had that happened? She used to love coming up with ideas for new toys, then building them to see if her visions were as good in real life as they’d been on the drawing board. But after seventy-five years of working in Santa’s workshop, making Tickle Me Elmos and high-tech video games had gotten old. Even a move to the coveted sex toy department four Christmases ago hadn’t been enough to get her back in the groove. Which was why she’d finally requested a transfer to the South Pole.

  That had definitely raised a lot of eyebrows among her fellow elves. No one ever volunteered to go to the South Pole. It was where elves went when they got on Santa’s bad side. But she had to do something or she was going to go crazy, and leaving the North Pole for a change of scenery—even if that scenery did happen to be in the armpit of the elfin world—seemed like the only way to stop from going insane.

  So now, on the night before Christmas, after months of waiting for her request to be approved, she was in a transport sled on her way to her new home. Armpit of the elfin world or not, she was determined to make the best of it.

  Dear Santa, how she wished she could talk to her mother and ask for some much-needed advice. But her mom had moved to the elfin retirement villa in the Swiss Alps. Well, it wasn’t really in the Swiss Alps—that was just where the gateway was. Once had elf had moved there, there was no way to communicate with them. Sosie wouldn’t see her again until she retired herself.

  Turning the page, she glanced up from the magazine to check the computer monitor displaying their geographical position. She groaned. Figgy, they hadn’t even reached Canada’s southern border yet. As fast as the sled moved, she thought they’d be halfway to the South Pole by now. Then again, it was rather far. She nibbled on her lower lip as she tried to remember what she’d learned in her geography classes. The classes had been decades ago and geography hadn’t exactly been her favorite subject in school, so it took a minute for the lessons to come back to her. From what she remembered, they had to go down the eastern coast of the United States, then skim over the Caribbean and finally fly the long way across South America to get where they were going. Santa’s beard, she hated flying. It always took so long.

  Sosie turned her attention back to her magazine when she noticed two male elves pee
king at her through the space between the two seats ahead of her. Though she couldn’t completely see their faces, it was obvious they were embarrassed at getting caught staring because they quickly turned around the moment they realized she’d seen them. They were probably petrified she might actually say something to them. She shook her head as she went back to flipping through her magazine. She was used to that. Elf guys had always been…well…intimidated by her. She wasn’t exactly a normal elf girl. At a few inches under five foot, she was on the tall side compared to the rest of her kind. Okay, maybe more than a little tall. She was practically an Amazon next to them.

  She’d been taller than everyone else ever since she could remember. At first, it’d been fun being special like that. Until she went to school. By the age of eight, she’d been as tall as any adult elf she ever met. By the time she’d finished her technical training at age fourteen, she towered over her classmates by more than a foot. It hadn’t been so much fun then, especially when the other elves pointed and laughed at her, calling her hateful names like snow giant or yeti girl, and implying her mother had slept with one of the big people while she was out on a supply run down south. Sosie tried not to let it bother her, but their words had hurt all the same.

  Her mother had told her the other elves were jealous of her because she was so pretty and unique. Sosie wanted to believe her, but their insults were still hard to take, especially the ones about her dad being something other than an elf. Her father had died in a freak sledding malfunction before she was born, but no one believed it. She didn’t care what they thought. She knew she was a real elf, through and through.

  Being taller than everyone else hadn’t become a major issue until she began her advanced technical training in toy design and manufacturing, and started noticing the opposite sex. Then she had to deal with a whole new dilemma—dating.

  There weren’t many elf guys confident enough to go out with an elf girl who was literally head-and-shoulders taller than they were. The ones who thought they could handle it quickly found out how wrong they were when they realized they had to look up at her all the time. It had put a real damper on her social life.

  Her pathetic luck with the opposite sex was part of the reason she’d asked for a transfer to the South Pole. According to her mother, the men down south were bigger and more masculine. If that was true, maybe they wouldn’t be so intimidated by her four-foot-eight-inch frame.

  Sosie was still daydreaming about the possibilities of meeting a big, handsome elf who might actually be able to look her in the eye when the transport sled suddenly bucked so hard it almost knocked her out of her seat. She gasped and grabbed the armrest. Figgy, if it wasn’t for the restraining lap belt, she probably would have bounced right off the ceiling. What in Santa’s name was the pilot doing up there? It felt as if they were sledding down a hill of snow moguls.

  “Excuse me, elves and elfettes, this is your pilot speaking,” a calm, male voice said over the intercom. “We seem to be having a few minor mechanical issues with the sled, so please make sure your lap restraints are securely fastened. Things could get bumpy.”

  At that announcement, the other elves around her began to babble nervously. Sosie would have done the same if anyone had been sitting near her. Instead, she tightened her grip on the armrest and tensed in her seat, preparing for Santa only knew what.

  Within minutes, however, the pilot had the sled on a more stable—and thankfully less bumpy—flight path. Relaxing her grip on the armrest, Sosie cautiously peeked out the small, round window beside her and gulped. Santa’s reindeer, they were as low as a snowman’s butt. A few minutes ago, she hadn’t been able to see anything but the heavy cloud cover that blanketed the northern hemisphere in the winter months. Now, she could see the motorized sleds moving about on the streets below. She didn’t know a lot about flying, but she knew that couldn’t be good.

  “Elves and elfettes, this is your pilot again. I’m afraid the mechanical issues are not as minor as we thought. We’re going to have to make an unscheduled stop in the city below for repairs. There’s no need for you to panic, though. Everything is fully under control and we’ll be on our way in no time.”

  Sosie’s heart raced. Stop in the city below? The pilot might as well have said he was going to feed them into a Christmas tree chipper.

  She might not know a lot about the world beyond the North Pole, but every elf knew the cities of the big people—or BPs as they were called—were horribly dangerous places. She’d read one recent article in The Snow City Gazette describing how BPs sometimes ran each other down with their street sleds simply because they didn’t sleep well the night before. Then there was that six-week exposé on The Polar Evening News a while back. Sosie shuddered as she remembered all the horrible crime statistics the news anchor had gloomily read. Whole families killing each other with cooking utensils because the evening meal was cold. Neighbors shooting each other because a newspaper had landed in the wrong yard. Children tying up their school teacher and beating her because she’d given them bad grades. It was horrible. Definitely not a place a proper elf wanted to be.

  The dangers of dealing with BPs were the biggest reason most elves never ventured away from the North Pole. The only elves who ever mingled with them were the ones on the Special Forces Survey Teams. They were highly trained elves responsible for figuring out which elvish items would sell well on the BP economy, as well as handling the transfer of completed merchandise to the elfin front companies in various countries. They had a lot of contact with the BPs and she’d never heard of those elves encountering anyone dangerous. But everyone knew the news programs were never wrong.

  Sosie nibbled on her lower lip nervously, alternating between wondering what terrible fate awaited them and berating herself for deciding to venture down to the South Pole when the sled started hurtling toward the ground below with alarming speed. As the bottom of the sled hit something hard, then slid along it wildly, she braced herself for the worst.

  But instead of slamming into something as she’d feared, the sled miraculously came to a sudden, screeching halt without hitting anything at all.

  Realizing they’d survived the landing, she opened her mouth to let out a cheer along with the rest of the elves, only to give in to a fit of coughing as the inside of the sled filled with acrid smoke. Her eyes watering, Sosie pulled up her wool scarf to cover her nose and mouth. While it didn’t completely keep out the smoke, she could at least breathe without choking on the nasty stuff.

  Pop! Pop! Pop!

  Sosie jumped at the sound, startled. She stared as all three exit doors on the sled slid open. A pleasant, swirling wind immediately filled the cabin, clearing the smoke. She took the scarf away from her mouth and took a grateful breath. That was when she noticed fresh air wasn’t the only thing pouring into the cabin. Along with it, came the sounds of complete and utter chaos unlike anything she’d ever heard before in her life. The noise was almost mind-numbing and she had to fight the urge to put her hands over her ears. It sounded as if the city was tearing itself apart.

  Sosie looked around the transport sled to see what the other elves thought of the deafening sound and discovered they were all squeezed into one corner of the cabin, huddled together and trembling.

  “Don’t worry, everyone,” the pilot said, his voice calm and sure over the intercom. “We had to open the doors to keep from choking on our own exhaust fumes, but our cloaking device is still completely functional, so none of the big people know we’re here. We should be able to get the transport sled up and running in no time. While we’re doing that, you can step outside the sled and look around if you like. It’s quite safe as long as you stay inside the cloaking shield.”

  Sosie’s eyes went wide. She hadn’t realized it would be safe to leave the transport sled. Now that she knew it was okay, she had to admit she was curious about the world of the big people. After making toys for them for decades, it would be nice to actually see them in person. Or at least get a look at o
ne of the cities where they lived.

  She turned her gaze on the elves huddled in the corner, wondering if one of them would be brave enough to venture outside with her. As she took in their frightened faces, she decided it would take a whole lot of cajoling to get any of them out of the sled. That, or a crowbar. If she wanted to explore, she was going to have to do it on her own.

  Sosie’s gaze strayed to the open door. Well, an elf only lived once—even if it was for centuries. Unbuckling her lap belt, she got to her feet and made her way over to the door.

  “W-where are you going?”

  Sosie turned to see which of the elves had spoken. From the expectant way the red-haired elf on the far right-hand side of the group was looking at her, Sosie figured it must have been her.

  “Outside,” Sosie said.

  The other elf’s eyes went wide. “Outside? Have you lost your Santa-loving mind? It’s dangerous out there.”

  “The pilot said we’d be safe as long as we stay inside the cloaking shield.” Sosie scanned the group of elfin faces hopefully. “Anyone want to come with me?”

  They all shook their heads vehemently and without hesitation. Figgy, they could have at least pretended to consider it. You’d think she asked them to sabotage Christmas. Whatever. They thought she was strange already, so she might as well not disappoint them.

  She lifted her chin. “Well, I’m going. If any of you change your mind, I’ll be outside.”

  Turning back to the door, she slowly walked down the ramp. Even though she was excited to see what the city looked like, she was nervous, too, and she had to stop at the bottom of the ramp to steady her wobbly legs. Unfortunately, she couldn’t see much of anything from where she was standing. She was going to have to get closer to the edge of the cloaking shield if she hoped to get a glimpse of something.